If You Love Her
by FicThisGifAnonContest
Summary: He asked me to help him find a perfect way to confess his love for a girl that wasn't me. So like the fool that I am, I helped him. ExB


**Word count: 6,508**

**Pairing: EXB**

**Rating: M**

**Summary: He asked me to help him find a perfect way to confess his love for a girl that wasn't me. So like the fool that I am, I helped him.**

**Warnings: Lemonish**

**Gif #: 23**

"Dude, are you nervous?"

"Umm…"

"Don't lie to me."

"I would never."

"That in itself is a lie! Should I remind you of seventh grade?"

"Swan, when are you gonna let that go? I was young and naïve. Besides, you're not one to hold grudges and your hair grew back."

"You think you know me?"

"Obviously."

"Are you nervous?"

He takes a deep breath. I can almost hear his hand running through that mess of hair over the phone.

"A little," he finally answers.

"You're full of shit," I mutter.

"And why is that?" He's chuckling now. The sound makes me grin so widely it actually hurts. I hope he can't tell over the phone. He can't know how stupid he makes me.

He just can't.

"This is kind of a big deal, Cullen. It's not every day one gets an award for being an awesome doctor."

"Yes, but my dad was one of the people that voted. How fair is that?"

"Oh, shut up. You know he was not the only one that voted. So you had one guaranteed vote. Get over yourself."

"Yes ma'am," he says dryly. "Are sure you're gonna be able to make it tonight?"

"Duh! You dressed like an uptight asshole and an open bar; I wouldn't miss it for the world."

He laughs again. "You're the sweetest, Swan. How would I live without you?"

"It's just obvious. You wouldn't."

"Ah. What are you wearing tonight?"

"What are you, my gay best friend?"

"I am your best friend, minus the gay."

"Do you need me to look extra pretty on your arm tonight?"

"Nah, I actually have a date this time," he says softly.

My heart drops. I can feel all the teenage girl giddiness I was feeling earlier disappear and my eyes sting.

_Shit. I really thought I was over it._

_Over him._

"Swan? You there?" The concern in his voice is honest and I feel bad for making him feel that way.

With my hand I cover my phone and clear the knot in my throat.

"Yup," I breathe out once I think I'm okay to talk. "So who is the lucky gal?"

_That bitch! I already hate her!_

_Calm down, Bella. You're acting like a dumbass._

_Fuck you, inner voice. You've done nothing for me in these 20 years, but slow me down!_

_Someone's being a little dramatic._

"Her name is Kate. We've been seeing each other for three months now. I think you'll like her."

"Oh." That's all my brain can manage to send out my mouth. I bite my lip and bang my head against the wall, hoping he doesn't continue talking about how "wonderful" and how "beautiful" she is, like so many times in the past.

But he does.

"She's really smart," he says and I again hope he doesn't have superpowers and sees my eyes rolling through the phone. "I know how much you hate for me to date bimbos."

I chuckle. "Edward Cullen, the best friend in the world, making sure he doesn't date brainless bimbos for my sake. How did I get so lucky?"

"Shut up. Listen, I have to go get ready. I need extra time to make my hair look less fucked up."

I giggle. "Good luck with that."

"Thanks. I'll see you there. Mom says for you to sit at our table."

"Uh huh."

"And Alice says to wear matching clothes."

"Ugh."

"See ya, Swan."

"See ya, Cullen."

There is nothing I wouldn't do for Edward. We've been best friends for twenty years and have always been there for each other. For nineteen years, we saw and hung out with each other every day of every week.

But for the past year, I've only seen him about six times. He's been busy with his job here in Seattle while I've been working in New York. Tonight will be the first time I will see him in five months.

We decided to wait until the hospital's gala to see each other since he had so much work going on during the day.

It won't be the last time either. I decided to quit New York and move back home when I got a job offer in Seattle.

The first person I called to give the news to was, of course, Edward. He sounded ecstatic. He wouldn't shut up about all the things we needed to do together when I arrived, which includes, but not limited to: getting shitfaced drunk, baseball games, shitfaced again, all you can eat marathons, video games, and some other dude activities for some crazy reason I enjoy doing with him.

Too bad he didn't mention there would be a third wheel.

God knows how many times I've been that and how much I hate it. The girls he always dates never get his humor.

They never get him at all. It drives me nuts.

I sigh as I drive my truck to the gala. The sunset is putting me in a melancholy mood. I don't know why other people like the sunset. It's depressing to me. Another day we can't have back.

Another day I don't tell Edward how much I love him.

Ah, yes. The typical cliché. Girl in love with her best dude friend.

_Judge me!_

I don't know when it happened or how. I just know one night during my embarrassing teenage life, I cried myself to sleep because Edward was out on a date with some girl that wasn't me.

Since then I found that the amount of time I stared at his face and the amount of time I spent with a smile on my lips thinking about him was unhealthy.

And yes, sometimes even weird.

_Judge me again._

I've beaten myself up about it so many times. I've even pep talked my reflection in the mirror before I've gone out to meet him somewhere.

_Don't stare for too long._

_Don't giggle at everything he says. That ain't cool._

_Don't jump on his lap and kiss him or hump him._

_And most importantly, don't let him notice. He'll run away so fast, you won't even get to say goodbye. _

I could never live without him. I'd rather live as the friend and stare and sigh from afar than to have him disappear because of my feelings.

_I'm a loser._

The gala is crowded already with rich folks getting tipsy from fancy Champaign. I decide to get myself a drink before Edward arrives with his new blonde girlfriend.

I'm pretty sure she'll be blonde.

I need to feel some sort of happiness, even if its alcohol induced. There is no way I can fake smile and fake hug this new girlfriend without it.

I start sipping my cranberry vodka when a throat is cleared behind me.

"I thought I told you to sit with my mother?" He says, with what I recognize as his "deadly" voice. It's the voice he uses when he wants to intimidate someone and the voice that makes me laugh my ass off.

"What makes you think I won't make it to your mother's table?"

"The way you're drinking that, it looks like you won't make it anywhere besides the floor."

"Shut up," I say, before I turn around and face him.

He's in a tuxedo, looking handsome as hell. His messy reddish hair doesn't disappoint and looks like a complete fuckery. His clean, sharp jaw and his bright green eyes would make any woman weep of need.

I'm no different. I've just gotten better at hiding it.

I'm a fucking pro.

But I can't help the grin on my face. Nor can I help the way my body and heart jump towards him. I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face into it, taking a deep whiff of his wonderful smell.

Because I'm weird like that.

He wraps his arms around my waist and I can feel his smile on my cheek.

_I could stay this way forever._

_Are those lyrics to a song, Swan?_

_Maybe…_

"You had time to shave," I mumble into his skin.

He chuckles loudly and holds me tighter. "That would be the first thing you'd say to me after all these months."

"Oh, I've missed you too."

"Bullshit."

"Get over it," I say, playfully rolling my eyes at him.

I pull back and sit on the bar stool.

I let go of him, but he quickly grabs my left hand and squeezes it.

This is our secret way of saying so much.

For me it's my way of saying "I love you."

For both of us it used to be a friendly gesture, before I changed the meaning. Our deep friendship didn't need words. It was too deep for silly friendship titles.

We started doing it when we were twelve, when my mother left my dad and me. I will always remember that day.

I was sobbing loudly in my room, not understanding why my mother had left my dad and me. I didn't understand why she didn't love us.

Edward must've gotten the word from his mom who probably was told by my dad. It really doesn't matter how he heard about my mother. I never asked him.

All that matters is that in that night, Edward snuck into my room and slipped into my bed with me. He didn't say anything and just pulled me into his chest. I cried all night, ruining his favorite Superman t-shirt.

But he didn't say a word about it.

He also didn't say anything in the morning when we woke up. He cleaned off my dried tears and gave me a soft smile. He took my hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze and placed it on his chest.

In that moment I knew it was going to be okay because he was my friend.

From then on he did it every day.

He would randomly stop me in a hallway at school and squeeze my hand and before we said our goodbyes for the day or just because.

I started doing it to.

Just because.

It's our way of telling each other that no matter how things are in life or how bad things get, we have each other and nothing can destroy our affection and friendship.

"You look lovely, Bella," he says. The smile on his pouty lips matches the twinkle in his green eyes.

I blush as if I'm a teenage girl.

I nervously run my hands down my white dress. I know he loves it when I wear white. He says I look like an angel. Of course I accuse him of bullshit, but I can tell he really believes it. His eyes say so much.

He doesn't understand what he does to me when he looks at me as if I was the most important person in the world. That's the way he's looking at me right now.

And because I don't know how to handle the emotions running through me, I make a joke.

"Thanks. You're hot."

He laughs again, shaking his head. "Shut up, Swan."

"No, I mean it. All the old rich hags in this place can't stop staring at your ass."

"Why aren't you starting at it then?"

"Because I'm not rich or an old hag and I've already seen it too many times. It's not that big of a deal, really. Kinda pale."

"Well you can kiss it."

"I'm pretty sure some of these hags would love to. Should I start a list? Alphabetical order?"

"Do you ever shut up?"

"Nah."

"I thought so," he says and playfully shoves my shoulder.

"How's life?"

"Oh, you know..."

"Hospital, blondes, and family."

"You know, I don't always date blondes. And what's wrong with them? Don't be so judgmental, Swan."

"Sorry! So is this one blonde?"

"Huh?"

"Your date, you fool."

"Ah, yes she is."

We both start laughing loudly, catching everyone's attention. I blush of embarrassment, but his presence has always served as a cushion of comfort so I shake it off pretty quick.

"Kate? Is that her name?"

"Yes."

"Where did you meet her?"

"The hospital."

"How romantic."

"We get along great."

"How long?"

"Three months."

"And she hasn't pissed you off yet?"

He chuckles again. "Nah, that's your job."

I fist pump the air. I laugh at my own stupidity because it's the only way I can avoid the heartbreak of him being with another woman.

He smiles softly and gently moves a strand of my hair behind my ear. He stares right into my eyes. There is something in them that I can't quite understand.

"I think I'm trouble, Swan," he whispers.

I can barely hear him over the cheesy party music and people talking.

"Why?" I ask.

He doesn't answer at first and just shakes his head. He looks down at the floor and nervously runs his hands through his hair.

"You know you can tell me anything, Cullen. What's gotten your panties in a twist?"

He sighs and looks back into my eyes. "I think I'm in love."

I think I can hear my heart break.

Suddenly I'm out of breath and I'm fighting back tears.

_He loves her? _

_Shit!_

I knew this would happen eventually. Edward Cullen couldn't stay single forever. He was going to settle down one day.

_But already? This soon?_

"Love? That's um…that's a heavy word. Are you sure about that?"

He smiles and nods. "Yes. I'm very sure. Just thinking about it makes my heart race. You know I'm not good with this romantic stuff, Swan."

He isn't. He's never even told a girl he loves her.

"But every time I think of this girl I feel…warm."

_Warm? As in temperature? _

"And every time she's gone, I get all depressed."

"But you've only known her for three months," I say, trying to make him realize he was sounding ridiculous.

"I feel like I've known her all my life. I know everything about her. I know what her saddest memory is. I know what makes her embarrassed and what makes her proud. I know what makes her happy and what pisses her off. I know everything there is to know about her, even the annoying parts and yet, I want to be with her forever."

_Well you know all that about me too, yet you can't seem to love me that way._

_What did I do wrong?_

_Quit being so melodramatic, Bella._

He's being serious. I can see the softness and this _warmth _he speaks of, in his eyes.

Edward Cullen is in love.

I swallow the lump in my throat and so that he can't see the tears pooling in my eyes I turn around and order another drink.

I sniff and hope my eyes dry out.

"Well I never thought I would hear it. Edward is in love," I say with fake joy and with a fake chuckle. My fake chuckle doesn't sound so convincing so I take a big, unlady like gulp from my vodka.

"Yeah, I am," he says affirmatively and sits down next to me.

What does he want from me? Does he want me to jump up and down of joy? For me to throw a party?

_You're his best friend. Of course he wants you to do these things, moron._

"That's great, Edward. Where is she anyway?"

"Who?"

I look at him as if he's the moron.

_Weren't we talking about her two seconds ago?_

"Kate."

"Oh, yes. She's sitting at the table with my mother."

"Already met the parents, I see."

"Yes, my mom really likes her and Alice thinks she's found the perfect shopping buddy."

"Fits right in."

"Yup."

"So do I get to meet her? As part of my duties of being your best friend, I have to ask her a hundred questions to make sure she's not a psycho."

"Of course," he says smiling.

I don't want to make him upset. If he really loves this chick, the least I can do is not fight him about it and go with the flow.

I just want him to be happy.

"Let me get a refill and we can go to the table."

"Wait," he says and stops me from standing up. "Before we join them, I wanted to ask you a favor."

I'm worried now. He's never looked so serious in his life. "Whatever you want."

"I need your friendly advice, which is the best advice."

"On what?"

He takes a deep breath and nods, as if convincing himself to tell me. "I don't know how to tell a woman that I love her without fucking up."

As if my heart couldn't break any further.

I let out a shaky breath.

"If you love her, the words should come naturally."

"I know, but I want it to be perfect. Now and day, saying 'I love you' doesn't mean much. Those words don't hold the same meaning as they did before. Anybody could say them and not mean them. This girl deserves the world. She deserves only the best. So when I tell her how much she means to me, I want her to believe it. I want her to feel it."

I'm speechless. He's got it bad. I feel dead inside. I don't know if I can continue playing this part. It's too painful. I've managed to do it so many times in the past with other girls he's dated, but I think I've reached my limit. The pain in my chest is almost unbearable. How am I supposed to tell him how to tell another woman how much he loves her when I so desperately love him?

"I don't know, Edward," I say into my glass.

He sighs. "Then tell me how you would like to be told that you're loved."

I shake my head. I need to help him. He's my best friend. I can't fail him now, just because I have feelings he doesn't know exist.

I take a deep breath, another sip of vodka, and clear my throat. I look right into his eyes and hope I don't screw up.

_God, help me._

"If you love her, than you have to tell her why. Tell her what about her is that you love. Women want to be loved for who they are. You say you know everything about her and love it, then tell her that. Tell her that you love the way she looks when she gets pissed or when she gets happy. Tell her that you can't live without her or her messed up hair in the mornings. If you love her, just tell her and if she doesn't believe you after that, she's stupid," I say, tearing my eyes away from his and taking another sip of my vodka.

He doesn't say anything and squeezes my hand. I look over to him and find him smiling at me.

"Thanks, Swan."

"Yeah, anytime."

Kate is beautiful.

She has the biggest blue eyes I've ever seen and Edward was right, she's really smart.

All she talks about with him is some medical stuff that I don't understand, while I drown myself in sorrow.

Edward didn't let me have another drink, so the buzz I was feeling is gone and the pain in my chest is stronger than ever.

I stare at the table cloth, hoping they give Edward his award so that I can leave.

Alice asks me if I'm okay and gives me this look that let's me know she understands why I'm sad. It doesn't help. I just nod and continue staring at the table cloth while they give other people awards.

"Swan?" he says in a cheery voice. He's sitting next to me and making my life difficult with his stupid, charming, and good smelling self.

"Yeah?"

"We have to go to a Mariners game, before the season ends," he says. _He wants to talk about baseball?_

"Uh, yeah. We should," I mumble. I look up and find Kate smiling at me. I think she wants me to like her for Edward's sake, so I smile back.

"Edward, you never told me you like baseball," she says.

_He does. It's his favorite. We used to play it every summer until we were a sweaty mess. _

"Yeah, I love it."

"Maybe you and I could go?" she asks.

_That's it!_

"I have to go to the ladies room," I mutter and stand up. I can't stand it anymore and need to leave.

But before I can even take a step, Edward's dad steps up to the podium and I'm stuck. I don't wanna miss Edward getting his award.

Dr. Cullen gives a heart felt speech that includes a story about when Edward said he wanted to be a doctor at the age of six.

I know that story.

I love that story.

I was there.

"So in behalf of the medical staff and board, I present this award to my son, Edward Cullen. Come on up son."

The room is filled with applause.

I look over to Edward and he looks as if he just saw a ghost. He is taking deep breaths and is biting his thumb.

He does this when he's nervous.

I didn't expect him to be nervous. It's just an award. It's not death.

Edward is always such a cool and collective guy. He's charming and witty. Not this nervous wreck.

"Dude," I say. "Go get your award. Your dad is waiting and don't fall on your ass. You'll embarrass me and I can't have that with all these fancy pants peepz in the room."

My words make him stop his heavy breathing, the paranoid look on his voice goes away and he laughs… loudly. He looks at me and gives me a smile. He inhales and exhales sharply and now I'm rolling my eyes because he's being dramatic.

He stands up.

I look towards Dr. Cullen and wait for Edward to make it to him, but suddenly I feel a hand take mine and give it a familiar, gentle squeeze.

I look over and realize Edward hasn't left my side. Instead, he pulls my knuckles to his lips and gives me a light kiss.

"You're my best friend, Swan. Always remember that," he says and let's go of my hand.

He shakes hands with some doctors and then finally reaches his father. The applause dies down and he clears his throat before reaching the microphone.

He makes some jokes about life in a hospital and even in my depressed and bitter mood, I laugh because he's always been funny and witty. He also talks about how much he loves being a doctor and I realize even more why I love him.

He's an incredible human being. Kate is so lucky to have him fall so deeply in love with her. I bet she's a great person. I just have to give her time. I'm happy for him.

Though I can't say the same for myself.

"Before I go back to my seat, I just want to take this time to thank a special someone in my life," he says and I look towards Kate.

She's smiling and looking at Esme and Alice as if she knows what he's about to say. They are happy and so is she.

Oh, how my chest aches.

I turn back to Edward.

"It feels like I've know her all my life. She's truly special to me. We have so much in common and not in common, but I don't think I could live a single day without her. She's the love of my life and I hope..."

I don't stay and listen to the rest.

It wasn't meant for me to hear. I hope Alice and Esme don't worry about me since I just got up and left, but they must understand.

I run to my truck and floor it back to my apartment. I sob on my way there and curse at random things.

I hate feeling like this. I hate feeling as if my heart is beyond broken. I hate feeling so empty.

It's not his fault. He didn't ask me to fall in love with him. But I can't help but feel so angry with him.

_He really couldn't see during all these years how much he means to me?_

When I get to my apartment I throw my keys somewhere in the dark, toss my flats across the room and shove my face into a pillow and cry, because I don't know what else to do.

I drench my pillow and it's uncomfortable to lie on, but I can't find the strength in me to care or move.

A few minutes later I calm down and I begin to torture myself of I am to do now.

_Is he gonna want me to go have lunch with her and get to know her?_

_Ugh._

_He's probably going to spend all this time with her._

_Why did I ever think Seattle was a good idea?_

_Because I'm a sadist._

_Ugh._

_I bet my make-up is now all over this pillow with my bitter tears and snot._

_I really should get up._

_Maybe I could watch some reruns of The Office or the Golden Girls and put myself into an ice cream induced coma so I can't feel anything._

_Would he and Blue Eyed Kate come see me at the hospital?_

Then I start crying again.

I start singing _All by Myself _Dion style, which is never a good thing if you're not talented in the singing department. I hope my neighbors don't call the cops. My life really can't get any worse. I mean they could call the cops because this song is awful and just blah. They'll probably accuse me of disrupting the peace.

Suddenly a hard knocking at my door brings me out of my stupid thoughts.

_Shit! My singing can't be that bad! Or is it?_

I finally sit up and wipe my face with the back of my hands like the graceless mess that I am and crawl… or walk to my door.

I hiccup as I open it and at mid hiccup my eyes take in who is at the door so I sort of choke and hiccup at the same time.

It's quite a weird sound.

"Bella!" he yells, completely out of breath. Edward looks like he just ran for his dear life from a 1980s serial killer. He regains some composure and straightens up. "Were you just singing that awful song?"

At first I just nod like a mute and then shake my head in hopes to gather myself up. "Ed…Edward? What are you doing here?"

He doesn't answer and instead controls his breathing and walks into my apartment, making me step back. He gently grabs me by the shoulders and pulls him into his body.

I can feel the hardness of his chest when we make impact and I let out a little whimper. The warmth of his being surrounds me and I feel very weak. I'm mesmerized by how close I am to his face. His green eyes looking right into my boring brown leaves me breathless.

"Have you been crying, Swan?"

I don't say a word, because I know I'll start crying again and instead I nod.

"You silly girl," he whispers softly and gives me a warm smile.

I feel as his hands slowly move from my shoulders, down my arms, and around my waist, leaving a trace of his warmth behind on my skin. I shiver.

He wraps his arms around me and holds me tight.

His mouth is dangerously close to mine.

"My silly girl," he whispers into my lips and without warning does what I never thought he'd do.

He kisses me.

He kisses me and I think I've died a good death if there is such a thing.

His warm and soft lips tenderly and gently press against mine.

My eyes close, my feet have seemed to left the floor, my heart is pounding against my chest, but I can't feel it and I'm lost in bliss.

So incredibly lost and I love it.

Our lips gently start to move together, his feeling so amazing. I sigh into his mouth at the power of my feelings for him. He takes advantage of this and slides his tongue into my mouth, meeting mine.

I might have moaned loudly…ok I do, but I can't seem to care as Edward's tongue caresses mine with affection.

I'm about to fall off some edge when, for some stupid reason, my stupid brain wakes up and throws a name at me.

_Kate._

I pull my face back; our separating lips make a loud smack.

"What's wrong, Swan?" he breathes.

I find myself loving the way he looks flushed and out of breath.

_He's a fine piece of…_

"Swan?"

"Kate!" I shout back at him, because my brain can't seem to process my speech correctly.

Edward smirks and shakes his head.

"What about her?" he asks, acting as if he doesn't know what I'm talking about.

"What do you mean what about her? She's your girlfriend! I thought you loved her. Isn't that what you had me help you with? I gave you advice, which almost killed me by the way and then you…"

Before I could continue my rambling, he places his lips against mine again, effectively shutting me up. He gives me a tender peck and smiles.

"You're silly, Swan. I don't love Kate."

"You don't? I'm seriously and borderline crazy confused, Cullen. You told me you loved her. You asked for me advice on how to tell her."

"Not once did I say that I loved Kate."

"What? You're pissing me off, Cullen!"

"Isn't that one of the many reasons why we love each other, Bella?" he whispers softly into my ear. He kisses my cheek and looks into my eyes waiting for an answer.

But I'm frozen.

I'm confused.

I don't' know what to say.

"Well since your tongue is apparently lost, I'll tell you." He pulls me tighter in his arms again and places a soft kiss on the tip of my nose. "I love the way you look when you're happy. I love the way you look at me when you see me, especially after a few days we've been separated. You make me feel like a damn king. I love how I can call you and talk about the stupidest things for hours and when we hang up, I feel like I wanna call you again and talk about more stupid stuff."

I smile, because it's the damn truth.

"I also love it when you act all sarcastic with me and call me ugly names or when you make bad jokes because you don't know what else to do. I love that I hate it when you leave your dirty shit all over my apartment after staying over."

He kisses me on the chin and presses his nose against mine.

"I love the way your hair looks in the morning. It looks worse than mine," he says and we both chuckle. "And I love that you have no idea what any medical mumble jumble is and that you love fictional books."

He kisses me again.

"And most importantly, Swan, I love you. I love you, silly girl. I could never love anybody else. I can't even fathom the idea. I'm just so sorry it took me so long to realize it. But this year, without you, has been hell. I haven't slept and I've been a moody asshole. Alice called it 'Bella withdrawals.' During the time I didn't see you, I felt so alone. Don't ever leave me, Bella. I can't live without you…as cheesy as it sounds."

I might be crying again. I'm a mess and a girl.

_Sue me._

"Bullshit," I mutter, but he can hear the humor and smiles.

"Not at all. I swear it, Swan."

"On what?"

"Umm, on Superman."

I dramatically gasp and he pinches my sides.

"So it's always been okay?" I ask.

"What has?"

"Me loving you since forever," I say with so much relief.

This whole time I've been beating myself up. This isn't supposed to happen. The sweet boy of my dreams actually loves me? But…how…um…am I dreaming? Maybe it was that horrible rendition of that awful song. God knows why he didn't give me good vocal chords and there I go, forcing those awful, ungodly sounds out of my throat.

Edward grabs my chin with his long fingers and pulls my face close to his.

"You've always loved me?"

"Wasn't it obvious? I didn't put up with your teenage white rapper phase because you were actually cool. You sucked. Balls. Big balls."

He laughs again, craning his neck back. His laughter almost shakes the apartment, but thankfully it only echoes through out the place.

"You loved me even duering that week of my life? You're a saint."

"Damn right, MC Coolen…that wasn't even original or clever."

"Oh, shut up, Swan and kiss me."

He grins and without warning attacks my mouth.

We're making out now. We're full on groping, humping, grunting and moaning on top on my bed. I don't remember how we got here and I really, truly don't care. It feels amazing to have his weight on top of me and between my legs.

_And the only part of him I have yet to see, rubbing my..._

He sucks on my neck so hard that I squeal. I punch and bite his shoulder.

"Don't you fucking dare, Cullen. I ain't cattle. Don't be branding me," I say through heavy breaths.

He laughs, the vibrations sending chills down my body. He starts sucking on my collarbone and then one of my nipples through my dress.

"Shit!" I hiss and grab onto his hair for dear life. "That feels so damn good! Don't stop."

"What if I did stop?" He asks.

"I'd kick you in the nuts."

"So romantic."

"Uh huh, keep going."

"No."

"Ass."

"Yes, let's see it. Let's get nasty and naked."

I giggle as he pulls away.

He helps me take off my dress, leaving me in my underwear. He takes off his white button shirt and I smile at his pale skin and the random, thin patches of chest hair that cover his pecs and belly.

He's fucking adorable.

He stops undressing for a moment and I'm disappointed, but then he sits back and smiles at me. I can see his eyes roaming my body. I don't feel embarrassed or self-conscious, because again, he gives me that look.

The one that makes me feel like the most important person in the world.

It's full of warmth and love.

"It was for me?" I whisper.

"What?"

"Earlier when you were telling me you loved 'her,' I could see it in your eyes that it was true. But you were talking about me, not her."

"Yeah, silly. I could see how much it hurt you to think I was talking about another girl. I promise never to make you feel like that again."

"Ever?"

"Never."

"Shit, Cullen."

"What?"

"I fucking love you. I love you and I can tell you now."

"Then why stop?" He hovers over me and kisses me deeply.

His hands softly caress my body. His lips move against mine. He slowly slips into me and we both moan into each other's mouth. He slowly pushes all the way in and the feeling is so strong and powerful that we're not even kissing anymore. Our lips just touch, our breaths deep and eyes are locked together.

"Bella," he whispers on my lips.

"Edward."

He buries his face into my neck and grabs onto the bed sheets as he thrusts into me harder each time. I can feel heavy breathing against my neck and hear grunts in my ear.

I think I've stopped breathing. I'm holding onto the back of his head, fingers tangled into his hair, and I never want this to end.

After what seems like an eternity later, I'm lying on his chest, tracing his skin with my finger tips.

"You know, I've always liked your chest hair."

"You mean the five hairs I have?"

"Very manly."

"I've always loved your ass."

"Jackass."

"More like pig."

"That too."

"When were 15, I accidently walked in on you changing. You were playing The Beatles pretty loudly so you didn't hear me," he says. Suddenly his skin against my cheek gets warmer.

He's embarrassed.

"What did you see? Anything good or impressive?"

"Heck yes…You were wearing these flower pattern panties, but your…" he stops.

"Nuh uh! Continue!"

"But I could still make out your ass and I got so hard."

I squeal and playfully slap his belly. "You are a perv."

"Tell me about it. I felt really guilty afterward. Took me a while to stop thinking about it."

"Did you think about it before you went to sleep?"

"Swan!"

"I wanna know!"

"Yes!"

I giggle hard and he slaps my ass.

"Who is Kate, really?"

"I tell you about a time I jacked off thinking about you and you wanna talk about Kate?"

"Who dat bitch?"

"Calm down, thug. Her real name is Rosalie."

"Oh my god! She's Rosalie? The girl dating your brother?"

He smirks and nods. "Yup."

"So what the hell was she doing there? With you? And why was her name Kate for that horrible hour I spent in her presence."

"She overheard me asking Alice how to tell you I had feelings for you. She let me use her as a distraction. You see, I was going to repeat everything you told me back to you during my thank you speech. I didn't want you to know about it beforehand. But in the middle of my declaration of eternal love for you, Alice waved and pointed at your empty seat. So I stopped talking and I ran after you."

I hide my face with my hair. "Sorry I screwed up it up."

His belly moves with his chuckles. "It's quite alright. You get to make it up to me now."

"Ugh."

"Yup!"

"So Alice and your mom knew the whole time of your wicked ways?"

"Yeah. It was the ultimate real life romantic comedy moment and they love us. They wouldn't have missed it for the world."

"I love them…wait, romantic comedy? Am I a clown to you? You know how much I hate those movies."

"Oh, yes. You're a serious person who loves serious movies. Cannes, Sundance and all that shit. How impressive."

"Ugh, you're such a dick!"

He laughs. "I was gonna say something about dick, but never mind."

"Good, because I'm a lady."

"Uh, huh."

We don't say anything for awhile and I think I'm dozing off when I can feel his hand squeeze mine which is resting over his heart.

"Swan?"

"Hmm?"

"You're my best friend."

Even in my half asleep state I manage to smile and squeeze his hand back.


End file.
